well its 12 months on, i approached help 12 months ago, a lot of things have happened and i am now BR, this time 12 months ago i never would have even contemplated that, my life hopefully is turning round and i am going to be the better person for my mistakes.

well anyway that isn’t why i am writing today, this week has been one of the best i have ever known, i have a friend that lives in Australia, i knew she was coming home for a fortnight well on tuesday, after 15 years of not seeing each other here she was on my doorstep, we have kept in touch via e-mail, what a beautiful evening i had, for the first time in 12 months i let my hair down,put my troubles to the back of the cupboard and actually enjoyed my self to the point i got drunk, not a good thing on a work night i can tell you, i have never enjoyed myself so much, and how beautiful it was that she met my children for the first time, only ever seeing them by photograph, what a night, good things do happen to those who have had a rotten time, just wanted to share my joy with you all,
she didn’t know my situation and i felt no need to tell her, she did invite me to OZ so there in its self is a goal i can work towards and hopefully next time we get together i will be visiting her, here’s hoping hey!!

well its like D - Day has arrived, i have received a letter from OR regarding BI on the house, we have to get 2 valuations and come to an agreement on the BI, unfortunately for me since going BR, 3 houses in the avenue have gone up for sale and all 3 of them sold almost immediately at very good prices, a lot more than i was hoping for might i add, it means the equity going on their prices has now gone up to at the minimum of £30k, there is no way on this earth i can raise that, and i will not ask mum and dads help on this one, i have to face it!

we phoned local estate agents, explained situation and they want £150 just to come out, why does everyone want to kick you when you are down?

hubby and i have sat down and know that we cannot raise the BI so have sent the letter back saying we have no interest in the house, haven’t told mum and dad as i know what they will try and do, but its our mess and i can’t have them bailing me out again, they done that with the car, so we posted the letter, its gone, we knew this in our hearts, but walking round the house not knowing how long you have till its all gone, and then thinking how on earth do i put all this into boxes,as after all we where here for life this was it, i have read every paper every board in every shop, every site on the internet nothing!

no one wants us, unless we have 6 months up front, which means over £4k, ridiculous but true, how do you find that kind of money!!!

we found one in the local rag, rang it up, had a house in a very nice area, explained situation, said no bother as long as you have references and a guarantor, no problem, so off we went to view, believe me i wouldn’t have let my dog live there.(not that i have a dog)!

the house needed so much doing to it, a bit on the small side for us , but hey we could adapt, there was holes in the doors, the walls and the ceilings it was filthy, the worst was someone had had a wee in the loo and never flushed it yuk!
the bathroom was black, me and hubby were trying to be so nice about the whole situation as we just wanted to get on the books without having to pay 6 months up front, then i seen my poor hubby in the small box room going white and pointing out of the window, i said ” what’s the matter with you?” his lips moved but nothing came out, i ran to the window and i noticed tarpaulin, i thought, oh my god there is a dead body and he can see it.

he kept pointing and moving his mouth still no words, then i seen it as large as a cat, it was doing back flips, dancing and waving i swear, the biggest rat, yes RAT you ever saw, i shouted out there is a rat in the garden, and the viewer said is it dead, nooooooooooo its very much alive, ( it only needed sunglasses and a deck chair) then she said we have a key to the outside, said no thank you and off we ran and i mean ran, when we got outside to the front she very much changed her tune to the fact she then didn’t know what her policies would be on BR’s , i asked if we could take the cats and she said oh no, so trying to make light i said well would need it for the rat, she wasn’t impressed, then she wasn’t sure on BR’s but if that was the type of property they offer then neither was I.

my hubby by the way, his biggest fear is rats so all in all was definitely a big no no, he is a wimp when it comes to rats.

so back to the drawing board, we don’t know how long we have here or how we will raise the deposit as we are still paying the mortgage here, trying to do everything by the book, i want a fresh start, somewhere nice where the kids will enjoy, only natural being a mum, didn’t want too much upset but i think in the long run its not going to be that easy, if left up to the local housing they would move us to a not so very nice area so we do not want to do that, will do our best and let you know how it goes.

An Inspirational Poem -
A Debt
By Bill Ronan

We have a massive debt, it’s one we can’t repay
It’s a debt that we will carry to our dying day.

For clothing us when naked and warming us when cold
For giving us protection within a loving hold

For teaching us the difference between what’s right and what is plainly wrong
For soothing out our infant worries with a softly spoken song

For guiding us through childhood and opening up our eyes
For leading us to adulthood with words so often wise

For teaching us with honesty that we were so unique
For laughing at our silly jokes and listening when we speak

A debt so large and special the like there is no other
This debt and so much very more we owe it to our MOTHER!

i have read many bloggs tonight of all of us who are in debt, must add now tho , i am no longer there since going BR, the same sad stories of us all, and thats what they are,its sad to see what debt has done to each and everyone of us, our stories, how each one of us would love to turn the clock back, well we can’t, its lovely to see the forum,is so supporting of us all, how each of us have grasped a new meaning in our life of debt, how we have formed friendships, without knowing each other, in the sense we have never met, but we also know so much about each other.
we will always be there and protect each other, and help where we can, its lovely to see/read, debt is a horrible thing we all got ourselves there and found difficulty getting out, but in the same respect we have made an alliance together to help one another to get through it, good luck to us all, we will get there one way or another.

Well what a week this has been for me, a happier one tho, i might add, the auctioneer telephoned me on tuesday to say the buy back on the car was £4k, my heart just sunk, i knew i didn’t have that kind of money, he told me I had til the end of the day to decide what i was doing.
Telephoned hubby at work, i was bawling my eyes out, stupidly over the car, it wasn’t just that car it was the fact they were not allowing me one at all, i thought i was going to have to give up work and the kids, wow the kids, i wouldn’t be able to take them to all their activities when hubby was away, i just couldn’t focus on the future at all.
my dad came to visit and asked me what was wrong, so i explained, he said don’t worry we will sort something i will speak to mum when she gets back home.
the hours were ticking away, and i couldn’t see any light at the end of that tunnel, hubby phoned the auctioneer himself and asked if he would go any lower, why! i don’t know as we didn’t have two pennies to rub together we were clutching at straws again. The auctioneer wouldn’t budge, he said well, its like this, we have informed the OR of the value, but i am going to sell it privately as we know we will get a lot more for it, hubby was gutted but angry also,as the auctioneer said, who’s to say you won’t sell it when you have bought it back? and make a profit.
we are not criminals we just need a car to carry on living our normal lives, thats why we had to go BR, my telephone rang it was mum and dad, we are on our way round, oh dear what have i done now!
well the knights in shining armour entered through my front door, get back on that phone and tell them you have the money, your getting your car back!!
i was so happy i couldn;t thank them enough, i telephoned straight away, the auctioneer was very surprised i had been able to raise the money, arrangements were made for the car to be brought back the next day, charged me £50 for the pleasure as it had no road tax.
i was so happy i could have danced on air.
the car was brought back the next day and they guy who brought it admitted they had had traders looking at it, and a buyer had already been found, we had somehow worked that one out for ourselves, we had enough time to get to the post office and tax it, and so that was it back on the drive ready for me to be able to go on with my life thanks to good old mum and dad.

an assistant telephoned me friday from the OR’s office, asking how the children get to school and was it walking distance etc, i explained it was walking distance, but in order for me to get them to school and work i needed my car.
they telephoned me in the afternoon, bad news the OR said i did not warrant the use of my car and it will be going, this will mean a very hard struggle for me now to see to the kids and get to work which i did explain to them and the possibility that i will now have to leave my job.
an agent telephoned 2 minutes later to say they would be collecting the car tomorrow (saturday) i was gutted, but i got myself into this mess and i have to face the consequences, i have to start a fresh and rebuild my life along with my family.
saturday was hard, my hubby was away and i was left with the 3 kids, my eldest took them to the park so they weren’t here when they came for the car, i was so relieved they didn’t come with a tow truck, the gentleman was very nice, its not his fault, its his job at the end of the day!
stupidly, i stood at the window and watched him drive it away, they will phone me tuesday and give me an option of buy back, but i haven’t any resources for that at the moment.

my eldest came back and saw how upset i was, he flung his arms round me and just cuddled me, that cuddle meant more to me than anything, they can take all the material things i have, but they can’t take my kids, i realised then how lucky i was, i have 3 beautiful children who i love, a husband that has stood by me and the love of a good family, don’t get me wrong, i know each step of the way is going to be hard, we have to face losing our home yet, but i know i will be able to do this as we are a family.

my eldest said, i love you mum and one day i am going to build you a house and we will live in it, i was trying so hard not to cry!
its been hard this weekend having no car, but we will just have to adjust, i didn’t expect BR to be a doddle, i am paying the price in lots of ways, i am glad i have done it, i tried hard not to be in this position but it is a way forward.

well had the OR meeting today at 10.30, we were told we would be interviewed seperately, as most of the debt was in my name i would be seen first so hubby sent back to waiting area to read paper and drink as much tea, coffee or water that he wanted.
basically he went through the forms that we had completed for the BR and elaborated on certain areas, this was all wrote down in a statement that will be sent to the creditors when notifying of our BR. the examiner was really nice, it wasn;t interrogation but i had to be able to say what was what and why, he told me the house would go and that is passed onto the trustee, however as i already knew we won’t be thrown out on the streets overnight, they have 3 yrs to dispose of the asset and normally likes to do it within 2, so have a bit of breathing space there, my car also will go which i thought it would as it is worth over £4k, the next bit shocked me, they wouldn;t allow a provision for me to have one as i only work 7.5 miles away from home and there is adequate public transport, they would not take into account that i had the 3 kids to think about before i even went to work or the fact that my parents who are disabled are dependant on me, i was absolutely gutted there is no way i could rely on buses to get me back and forth to work and also see to the kids, so i don’t know what i am going to do, the school clubs don’t start til 8 and finish at 5.30 so that is not an option, also i will have to take the kids out of the football clubs they are in as i will not be able to get them there anymore so feel real sorry for them, this is one thing i am dreading telling them.

as for my income and expenditure he said i had been to lenient in areas, firstly he disallowed :
sky at £25, contingency fund £50, football club fees £31 and supplies for the computer at £20 even tho for work he said they would have to pay for that, fair enough!
he questioned my housekeeping which i had set at £650 he said it was a bit excessive and asked why as normally it would only be £500, explained that i had included the kids school lunches in that and also my hubby works away and has to have seperate money for that, he said that was acceptable and allowed the £650, better than the £400 i was being allowed under the iva, he then said i had only put down £50 for clothing and that was not enough with 3 growing kids and upped it to £200, again my holiday fund i had put down £50, some have said they don’t always allow this, but he said everyone is entitled to a holiday and upped that to £200 per month also, at the end of all the calculations and deductions we were left with £52 surplus so this means we have no IPA to pay into.

i then had to make a narrative statement on what i had spent the money on, and what he did was choose the higher loans that we had and asked me to explain what i had done with the money received, basically penny by penny, i really couldn’t remember who i had paid off and who i hadn’t i did find that bit hard, then he said in one sentence tell me how you would sum up why you have become BR what contributed mainly to that factor, i said mainly the tax credits that was stopped, he didn;t agree as we were already in a financial mess before that happened, so we agreed that it was living beyond our means which is true we did, we just didn’t realise it, that first consolidation only led to more debt as we couldn’t afford it in the first place so relied on credit to bail us out all the time, easy to see now but not then, its quite frightening when it is all written down in black and white in front of you and you really can’t account for what you have spent, couldn’t keep saying groceries could I!

I signed all the forms and hubby was called in, with him being dyslexic i was allowed to stay, boy does his dyslexia get him out of some pickles, i was gagging for a drink and kept coughing all the way through my 1.5hour interview, i also had a trainee in for observation and she had to keep running out for water for me when i had my coughing fits!

he spent 10 mins with hubby as he had everything from me and would be using my narrative for both, he then said he was happy with the interview, he didn;t think it likely that we would have another one, the next time we would hear off them would be in 3 months updating I/E and if we returned the forms back promptly it may mean an early discharge if we didn’t it would run its full 12 months.

and that was that, our whole lives in their hands, so today is the start of a new debt free life, final closure to my story of dealing with debt, will keep you all updated of my new journey through BR and what the future holds for me now.

had my letter this morning my meeting is wednesday at 10.30 for me and hubby for 3 hours, how shattering is that going to be, i have to fill in more forms on line which are as long as the BR forms and cover much the same, paperwork, how i love it, not.
to my disappointment not one creditor has phoned or even sent a letter i think they no longer love me or want my blood.
they won’t know about the BR yet but how ironic after all these months they decide not to hassle me anymore.
dreading wednesday as this will be the day i know where i stand in regards to the house and how much BI they will be looking for, and also how long i have left with my car.
well as usual i will let you know how i fair and what is to be.

well how fast are they, mine and hubbies name are on the register this morning after the BR yesterday.
just the name in the paper to go and the OR meeting to face, and that will be it.
will let you know how i get on.

hi all
i haven’t posted on my blog for a while due to difficulties getting onto the site, however as of 10.35 this morning i am officially BR with hubby, what a relief!!
we are now debt free and beginning a new life, it was not as bad as i thought.
yesterday was bad as we were printing the online forms off and the printer jammed on the third lot of hubbies and said no ink left, what a kerfuffle!!!
we managed to get it working and dried up the ink cartridge i think.
well here is how it went today:
well jack and i are now officially BR as of 10.35 this morning, we arrived at the court very early and sat in the car park, we thought this is silly lets go in, we were sent up to the general desks, there were 4 in all and each one was very clearly signed to say what you were there for, no privacy, we started to panic a bit as every man and his dog could see what you were there for if they came in, lucky for us the appt was 9.30 and the other desks didn’t open til 10, the clerk seen us at 9.15 so that was good she was so nice and reassuring, i had to pay full fees, but never mind, she done jack first and the online service had omitted a few answers she said this always happened and not to worry, then he swore on the bible as i looked up behind her i saw a girl looking at me, i had went to the grammar school with her and sat next to her for 3 years so i started to go to pieces, she didn;t acknowledge me nor i her, i wanted to be somewhere else, a man came in not very happy as he was 1 minute late for his court hearing and they had thrown it out because he wasn’t there, he needed another desk, then it was my turn and i messed the first form up where i had to delete the questions not answered on the net, the lady just said take your time don’t worry, just initial them, then i swore on the bible, and she said it will take me 20 mins to prepare your case take a seat then you will be sent upto the fourth floor to the judge and then you will go straight to liverpool to the OR, what! i thought, didn’t think it was going to be that soon, 1/2 hour passed then she came back with our files and told us to take them up to the usher on the fourth floor they were expecting us, well by this time the nerves had really kicked in, we entered the ushers waiting room and it was jam packed, we thought omg we are going to be here for hours, we had only just sat down and she said the judge is ready for you please turn off your mobile phone, jack started to fumble trying to turn his phone off whilst we were being shown into the judge.

he was like rumpole of the bailey a huge stern looking man, very old school, i was shaking by this time and he started on jack did we have different debts other than the joint ones and how much did he owe, then he picked on me and said how much are yours and when i said 92k altogether he went what, i though omg here we go, i then proceeded to explain synergi the iva and the dmp and he asked why had i not gone ahead with iva explained that BH had 26% of the vote and they rejected outright and since then i had set the DMP and they still weren’t happy, he said is that so, well they will live to regret that they have rejected your offers you have done all you can and tough on them, serves them right, we were quite shocked by this .

he then said i know this is not what you are going to want to hear or think you would hear but congratulations on the start of your new life, you have to be congratulated for facing up to your responsibilites it has not been easy, you have not gone into this lightly and have tried everything that has been humanly possible and the creditors have turned against you, now who wants to be first is there a race mr or mrs, by this time i was filling up and just didn’t want to cry and that was it we were BR had to go back downstairs and get all the certificates and were sent straight to the OR’s office.

we were seen by an assistant a very young nice man who needed his hair cut so bad i wanted to take my brush out of my bag and brush it for him but he was lovely, said not to worry about anything we would be having the main interview next week, in regards to the house if it has to go we will defo get 12 months possibly 2 yrs they work in our best interests to keep us solvent, the car he said would probably go but we would be offered a payment plan so we could pay the extra and keep it will no better next week but not to tax the car as yet.

well what a huge relief, it was so much easier than i thought today, will just have to see what the OR has to say, the assistant went mad when i said re bank accounts being frozen and he said they never get frozen who on earth told me that i said CAB and the insolvency site, rubbish he said we inform the banks and it is up to them if they let you continue using them they never get frozen.

so the car park ticket we had had an offer on it for macdonalds 2 medium meals for a fiver so thats were we went after we got back off the train from liverpool.

so thats how bad my day was going BR, not that bad at all, although the tension headache was very bad,just wished i had done it 8 months ago.